FHM then. Pretty Covers, Legitimate Sexy Cover Models.
I used to enjoy this magazine a lot. 10 or so years ago, I would wait in line just to catch the latest issue of FHM-Philippines. Not only that this magazine boasts of sizzling photos of sexy movie actresses (like a young Sunshine Cruz sporting those pointy 38s), it has worthwhile articles that can shrinks one’s dick but add pounds to his brain matter.
Fast forward 14 years after.
I could not imagine that FHM has turned into a complete trash. Without its original cast of editors and writers, the magazine has ushered in so-so features. It has suffered drought of hour-glass, all naturelle and star-quality females is like it is the Sahara desert. It has never been worthy of my well-saved 180 or so pesos.
FHM now. Heavily-Photoshopped Covers and Has-been Cover Models.
1.) How on earth that FHM now only gets the come backing (a.k.a. no career anymore movie stars) as models? This reached its zenith when it featured the ageing Ruffa Mae Quinto that could have made them use all the Photoshop tricks there is. Not contented with this downgrade, they featured the “maid of honour” beauty or Medtech beauty Rochelle Pangilinan (guess they also used a ton of make up on that shoot!).
Sex Guru Asia Agcaoili: Big boobs, Big Brains.
FHM Master Debaters Jazhiel Manabat and Abby Poblador. More Holes, Less Brain Matter.
2.) Trying to titillate its readers to newer heights, FHM mistakenly used two dumb bombshells in sheer desperation to replace the Queen of Sex columns Asia Agcaoli (oh, how I miss Asia!). Yeah, we all know that Abby Poblador does butthole lovin’ and Jazhiel Manabat and her big boobs wants to ripped apart silly, their antics become boring month after month without any mental intervention.
3.) The dearth of original materials from ace photographers like Xander Angeles and Doc Marlon Pecho transformed the magazine into a hodge-podged amateurish photo collage. Most of the lay-outs copied from other magazines. Originality goes down the drain!
4.) The inside pages are peppered with more marketing gimmicks than nude babes that makes one wonder if FHM became Robinson’s Department store in-house catalog or a condom-marketer’s brochure! I do not mean that there is something wrong in including a men fashion or techie section, FHM has already doubled if not tripled its advertising efforts. Kulang na lang lagyan ng discount coupons for frozen meat section.
5.) Awful-awful FHM Sexiest Women in the World list. Not that I am saying there is a bidding war between GMA-7, ABS-CBN and ABC 5 in placing their female wards in the list but putting Marian Rivera on the top for three consecutive years is just enough to rouse suspicion. Isn’t there any other sexy lady in the whole archipelago that they can put in the list? Maybe they should change the list as the “Sexiest Woman in Philippine Movies and TV.” And how can they say with a straight face in saying that the flat chested Sanya Smith(84) or dwarfish Kris Bernal (86) are sexier than sun-kissed Bianca King (87). Similarly, it is downright crazy to say that the ageing Ruffa Mae Quinto (50) is yummier than absolutely bangable Bea Alonzo (61) or sexy Fil-am bimbo Misa Campo.
36-year old Ruffa Mae Quinto (50th Sexiest Woman in the World)
Hobbitish Kris Bernal (86th Sexiest Woman in the World)
Flat-chested/drug addict-thin Sanya Smith (84th Sexiest Woman in the World)
Sun-kissed sweetie Bianca King (87th Sexiest Woman in the World)
The bottom-line is FHM with its downgraded quality is testament to a declining readership’s taste and skyrocketing Filipino libido that does not require better quality flesh to get it off.